What to Do When All Seems Lost
Ever have moments when all seems lost? No matter what you do or how much energy you put into something, what you want just does not seem to be happening. 100 percent effort. Zero results. Something is wrong with this equation.
You talk to your spouse or your friend and they give you the standard, well-meaning platitudes. “You don’t know what really is happening.” “It wasn’t mean to be.” Or the old stand by, “God has a different plan.” You are a peaceful, civilized person but inside your head, you want to . . . . .well, you know.
So what do you do? Throw in the towel? Yes, you want to but you know that is not your nature so remove that from the list of options.
Move? Go into hiding? These are all questions that arise from desperation and frustration and when these 2 are the starting points, nothing is ever resolved.
Here are some ways to get out of the rut and begin to move forward again:
- Stop what you are doing and just do something else. Anything else. Anything that will disrupt or break the current “loop” is what is needed. Run 10 miles. Paint the fence. Take a weekend and go fishing. Sign up for cello lessons. Anything that will break the current pattern will have a major impact. It may just be a day or a weekend trip. A month from now, you may wonder why a cello is in your closet but the newness and pattern interruption will be worth it.
- Be truthful. You keep saying you want a new job, yet one one comes up, you turn it down. Or you never look to begin with. Maybe you just want to complain and not do a thing about it. It may not be the best strategy but it is the one you want. Otherwise, you would be doing something else. So. . . .admit it already. Speak your truth and admit that for whatever strange and unknown reason, you like living this way and will continue to do so.
- Keep going. Ever run a marathon? At Mile 10, you feel like the King or Queen of Everything. At Mile 18, you think you are going to die. At Mile 20, you hope you will. At Mile 25, you are drained but smiling up a storm, knowing you will finish. At Mile 26, you swear that you will never do this again. At Mile 26.2, you are already mentally signing up for the next event. How did this happen? You just kept moving forward, regardless of your inner dialogue. Regardless of external events. Regardless of everything, you just kept going. Now THAT is a powerful strategy.
- Disengage from the drama. You are both the director and the actor in this play called Life. When things get too much, it is time to pull back from the actor-part and start to live from the director’s position. See it for what it is and realize that it will pass, just like the 1001 others situations that you have encountered passed. Just like the 1001 other situations that will come, will eventually pass. Be the observer, not the participant.
- Be like Paul. Paul was my wife Lisa’s ice skating coach for several years. He (and his sister) were Olympic and World champions. I was very excited to meet him and pick his brain for the “secrets” of becoming a champion. Over lunch, I asked him, “What does it take to become an Olympic champion?” Anticipating some amazing training secrets or powerful mental skills, Paul’s answer was stunning. “Just keep showing up like we did. We were not the best. We just outlasted everyone else.” I did not like hearing this at all but over time, I have grown to deeply appreciate the tremendous value of this answer. Just keep showing up. Eventually, everything you desire will be yours.
Wouldn’t it be great if there was a simple, easy solution to such situations? Take this or do this meditation for 3 minutes and all problems will be resolved.
The answer is NO.
You would hate this over time, as would I. Granted, it would be very helpful now and again, but if we just blinked our eyes and the problems would be gone, our lives would be beset with unbearable boredom. It is in the struggles and trials that we discover and uncover the great lessons. It is because of the struggles and trials that we come to appreciate them.
Stop resisting and fighting with your issues. Appreciate them. Even be grateful for them. Dare I say, love them for in the process of doing so, the caterpillar will turn into the butterfly.
About the Author
David Orman is a Natural Medicine Expert, having treated 1000s of patients over a 25 year career. He is also a teacher, writer and lecturer. For more information, go to: www.hghplus.net